M. on Friday, 10 October 1980, I gave birth to a baby boy. I asked Doctor Parsons if I could hold him, but he said that there was a complication and my baby had to be taken to the operating theatre. I was terrified, what had happened? I was in a panic. Shortly afterwards my parents came in to see me and how I was going. I told them that something was wrong and my baby was taken away. I was beside myself; I was in tears with worry. About 30 minutes later, Doctor Parsons came in; and I can still recall those fateful words. “I am sorry Miss Ames but your baby is dead. The baby had swallowed some meconium inside me just prior to the birth and he choked on it.” I broke down and was inconsolable. I knew I had to give the baby up for adoption, but to have held him first and knowing he was going to a good home would have been some comfort. I was given a sedative to see me through the night. Two days later I was released from hospital and went home. I missed the first 3 days of school that. It showed too badly through the stockings so off came my all my body hair. Over the next few days in the evening she would have me dress and play with her makeup. Each time I would get a raging hard on to the point that she realized dressing really turned me on. During these times we always ended up having great sex. She told me I was nothing but a sissy bitch and I seemed to like it far too much.That is when I told her about my c***dhood. How my mother would dress me up like a little girl and let her lovers have their way with me. How my grandparents beat me till I suppressed my desires to be a girl and please men— yes I still had strong desires to be with men. My wife digested all that I told her. She told me that it was a relief to finally here the truth. She had wondered why I didn’t find her desirable and now she understood. I asked her what we were going to do about my desires and if she had any desires of her own. I loved her, wanted to make her happy and never.
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